Long Beach Island NJ Sept 2005
Originally uploaded by v2or.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Blessing of Brokenness
The Blessing of Brokenness
by Victor Tarassov
One of the consequences of the fall is that shame makes us hide. It is the natural outcome of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When we sexually act out, instead of turning to the Father and asking for help we run 180 degrees in the opposite direction. Moving out of the light to conceal our secret into the darkness to hide our shame and sin. We put on our fig leaves and hide our nakedness.
We prefer the wilderness instead of remaining in the garden in His Presence. We know we have sinned and have done wrong and our first impulse is to hide. That is what shame makes us feel. We judge and condemn ourselves. Then there is the self-talk: you did it again, how could you? Was it worth it, the bad feeling in the pit of our stomach? How dare you ask for forgiveness again? We can get depressed. We beat ourselves up. Often many of us will essentially voluntarily isolate ourselves feeling unworthy and deserving of banishment. Our sex drive seems impossible to overcome. As rebellious reprobates, we deserve judgment and punishment for our failings and shortcomings. So we feel we have no other choice but to do what Adam and Eve did, we’re naked so we hide and cover ourselves. We stay exiled, self-imposed. Because of our shame we feel we have no other place to turn.
The Psalmist in Psalm 52:17 says:
“the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.” NIV
On the other hand what if we are posing that we are all just fine? Yet I do not think that that front will allow us to benefit in our desire to stay sober.
There is a story that I think explains brokenness very well. There was a young priest who was about to lift the communion cup up and bless the cup. The cup was made of choice crystal and very perfect. Just when he lifted up the cup it slipped out of his hand and smashed on to the floor all broken pieces all over. He looked up at the senior priest thinking that he would be ridiculed and instead the senior priest said, “I never new there were so many beautiful pieces to reflect the light until the cup was broken. How marvelous and beautiful are all the pieces when the light shines on them!” It is the light that shines though our brokenness that is so beautiful. For that light is the Lord. What we fear is to be broken or be seen as broken but as the story illustrates it is in our brokenness and non-posing state that the true light of Christ can shine in and make our brokenness beautiful. The addict has to see her/his brokenness if they are to over- come one of the major obstacles in recovery.
George MacDonald says:
”Gather my broken fragments to a whole…
Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart,
but make it a whole, with light in every part”
John Eldredge in Wild at Heart comments, “But you can’t do this at a distance; you can’t ask Christ to come into your wound while you remain far from it. You have to go there with him.” That being we are in pain and are broken. Its ok to be broken, it is in our brokenness that we can bring it to the Lord and have His touch and light heal and bring hope to our broken heart.
I have resisted for years to allow my self to experience the pain of brokenness but this last year I experienced many things that suggested I was not in control of my life and that the world I lived in was broken including me. As long as I tried to hold on and make it work I would get depressed, tired, a bit moody and self absorbed in that I did not want people to see me in pain. Finally in May of 2002 my cup was smashed on the ground, I never thought that with so many pieces all over the place that order or hope would come. But yet to my surprise it was this brokenness that I believe God needed me and many of us to enter to show us how much He really loves us. After a very painful divorce, relocation, and new beginnings in a new place God used his church to show me love when I had nothing I could give. This was the place I believe that God wants to take all of us to show us just how much He loves us. It came down to me and my God. I have had friends support me and give me space to heal and grow. Then I received encouragement from pastors/minister and allowed my life to be touched by others. Then my own practice began to pick up. It has been a joy to be in relationship not afraid of the past, able to give love from a place of strength and not need. I have love that I can share with her and others because my brokenness allowed for God to fill me with Him. Others have seen me for who I am and not what the wounds showed. My brokenness has allowed me to be made whole and beginning the healing, not by me, but the Lord. The very thing that I thought would destroy me and break me God has used to bless me. This is truly the best time I have been experiencing in my life. Even though there was a period of six months of deep pain, God has taken me and allowed me to experience brokenness and lose everything that I thought would give me peace and replace that with Him. Now He is even giving me the desires of my heart. He will to you too.
May we not see our brokenness as a road block to healing and wholeness but as a door to enter to begin that wonderful journey where we experience the love that God has for all of us. May we allow him to heal our hearts. Heal and reflect His love. I have been on this road for years now and while in 2002 I thought that this would be the most my heart would be able to handle, I have been broken a few more times. For me it seems that to love and care about others and even fall in love or to give of ones self means that pain and brokenness is going to be a possiblity. There are sorrows but there are also seasons and time of joy. I dont think we need to be fearfull of the times of brokenness but know that they are seasons.
by Victor Tarassov
One of the consequences of the fall is that shame makes us hide. It is the natural outcome of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When we sexually act out, instead of turning to the Father and asking for help we run 180 degrees in the opposite direction. Moving out of the light to conceal our secret into the darkness to hide our shame and sin. We put on our fig leaves and hide our nakedness.
We prefer the wilderness instead of remaining in the garden in His Presence. We know we have sinned and have done wrong and our first impulse is to hide. That is what shame makes us feel. We judge and condemn ourselves. Then there is the self-talk: you did it again, how could you? Was it worth it, the bad feeling in the pit of our stomach? How dare you ask for forgiveness again? We can get depressed. We beat ourselves up. Often many of us will essentially voluntarily isolate ourselves feeling unworthy and deserving of banishment. Our sex drive seems impossible to overcome. As rebellious reprobates, we deserve judgment and punishment for our failings and shortcomings. So we feel we have no other choice but to do what Adam and Eve did, we’re naked so we hide and cover ourselves. We stay exiled, self-imposed. Because of our shame we feel we have no other place to turn.
The Psalmist in Psalm 52:17 says:
“the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.” NIV
On the other hand what if we are posing that we are all just fine? Yet I do not think that that front will allow us to benefit in our desire to stay sober.
There is a story that I think explains brokenness very well. There was a young priest who was about to lift the communion cup up and bless the cup. The cup was made of choice crystal and very perfect. Just when he lifted up the cup it slipped out of his hand and smashed on to the floor all broken pieces all over. He looked up at the senior priest thinking that he would be ridiculed and instead the senior priest said, “I never new there were so many beautiful pieces to reflect the light until the cup was broken. How marvelous and beautiful are all the pieces when the light shines on them!” It is the light that shines though our brokenness that is so beautiful. For that light is the Lord. What we fear is to be broken or be seen as broken but as the story illustrates it is in our brokenness and non-posing state that the true light of Christ can shine in and make our brokenness beautiful. The addict has to see her/his brokenness if they are to over- come one of the major obstacles in recovery.
George MacDonald says:
”Gather my broken fragments to a whole…
Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart,
but make it a whole, with light in every part”
John Eldredge in Wild at Heart comments, “But you can’t do this at a distance; you can’t ask Christ to come into your wound while you remain far from it. You have to go there with him.” That being we are in pain and are broken. Its ok to be broken, it is in our brokenness that we can bring it to the Lord and have His touch and light heal and bring hope to our broken heart.
I have resisted for years to allow my self to experience the pain of brokenness but this last year I experienced many things that suggested I was not in control of my life and that the world I lived in was broken including me. As long as I tried to hold on and make it work I would get depressed, tired, a bit moody and self absorbed in that I did not want people to see me in pain. Finally in May of 2002 my cup was smashed on the ground, I never thought that with so many pieces all over the place that order or hope would come. But yet to my surprise it was this brokenness that I believe God needed me and many of us to enter to show us how much He really loves us. After a very painful divorce, relocation, and new beginnings in a new place God used his church to show me love when I had nothing I could give. This was the place I believe that God wants to take all of us to show us just how much He loves us. It came down to me and my God. I have had friends support me and give me space to heal and grow. Then I received encouragement from pastors/minister and allowed my life to be touched by others. Then my own practice began to pick up. It has been a joy to be in relationship not afraid of the past, able to give love from a place of strength and not need. I have love that I can share with her and others because my brokenness allowed for God to fill me with Him. Others have seen me for who I am and not what the wounds showed. My brokenness has allowed me to be made whole and beginning the healing, not by me, but the Lord. The very thing that I thought would destroy me and break me God has used to bless me. This is truly the best time I have been experiencing in my life. Even though there was a period of six months of deep pain, God has taken me and allowed me to experience brokenness and lose everything that I thought would give me peace and replace that with Him. Now He is even giving me the desires of my heart. He will to you too.
May we not see our brokenness as a road block to healing and wholeness but as a door to enter to begin that wonderful journey where we experience the love that God has for all of us. May we allow him to heal our hearts. Heal and reflect His love. I have been on this road for years now and while in 2002 I thought that this would be the most my heart would be able to handle, I have been broken a few more times. For me it seems that to love and care about others and even fall in love or to give of ones self means that pain and brokenness is going to be a possiblity. There are sorrows but there are also seasons and time of joy. I dont think we need to be fearfull of the times of brokenness but know that they are seasons.
Mental health experts to deal with the Iraqis' "battle fatigue'
Mental health experts to deal with the Iraqis' "battle fatigue'
By JOHN ANASTASI
The Intelligencer
It has been widely reported that suicide bombings, sectarian violence, kidnappings, poverty, displacement and corruption have taken a deadly toll on the Iraqi people.
But less often discussed is the cumulative psychological impact — the so-called battle fatigue — that environment has had on the country's citizens.
“Even before the last couple of years, this was a place where whole villages were being gassed (under Saddam Hussein) and people were fleeing,” said psychiatrist Karl Benzio, executive director of Doylestown Township's Lighthouse Network. “In this country there is a dire need for mental health assistance. There is addiction, physical and sexual abuse, child abuse, depression, suicide...War and terrorism throughout life brings mental health woes.”
So the Lighthouse Network, a nonprofit Christian ministry, is sending Benzio and two colleagues in the behavioral health field to Iraq to lead a series of conferences to help the country's healthcare officials provide services for those people.
On Sunday, Benzio, psychologist Jeff Black and therapist/social worker Leslie Vernick will fly to the Kurdish city of Ebil in northern Iraq, where they will spend five days at the invitation of the Kurdish Regional Government's minister of health.
In a country that is 95 percent Muslim, the three Christians — Black is assistant pastor at Philadelphia Biblical University and Vernick is an Allentown-based Christian author and therapist — will speak to audiences of Iraqi psychiatrists, nurses, social workers, medical students, counselors and doctors. They will cover how to listen to and communicate with families whose children are ill and couples with marital and parenting issues.
“I'll lecture on topics related to psychotherapy and diagnosis,” Black said. “They'll probably want us to talk about trauma-related things, marriage and family things. We're going over there with a lot of knowledge, but I'm not sure we'll know how to apply it until we get there.”
The trip was funded by a group of Christian businessmen and arranged with help from T.H. Properties' co-founder Todd Hendricks, who is a member of the board of trustees at Philadelphia Biblical University.
“My first thought was "I'd better ask my wife,' ” said Black. “Really, I think it's a phenomenal opportunity. For me, it's a first.”
Benzio stressed that while the Sunni-Shiite violence has been prominent in the southern section of Iraq, Kurdistan has been relatively peaceful. Still, they will have their work cut out for them as Iraqis struggle with hopelessness and despair, which can lead to anger, abuse and addiction.
“Take Katrina and imagine 24 years of it,” said Benzio, who recently co-chaired the Bucks Mont Katrina Relief Project's mental health subcommittee. “That's how it is there, the sense of battle fatigue.”
The group will also speak at a few of the local Christian churches, which have seen a small resurgence since the fall of Saddam Hussein.
For now, the group is reviewing some cultural materials covering how to interact with the Iraqi people and what to wear. Benzio also learned to leave a little bit of food on the plate at the end of each meal. If they do not, their hosts will keep providing more. That was good advice for Benzio, who grew up doing the opposite.
“I come from an Italian family, where you're supposed to clean your plate,” he said.
John Anastasi can be reached at (215) 345-3079 or janastasi@phillyBurbs.com.
January 11, 2007 6:11 AM
By JOHN ANASTASI
The Intelligencer
It has been widely reported that suicide bombings, sectarian violence, kidnappings, poverty, displacement and corruption have taken a deadly toll on the Iraqi people.
But less often discussed is the cumulative psychological impact — the so-called battle fatigue — that environment has had on the country's citizens.
“Even before the last couple of years, this was a place where whole villages were being gassed (under Saddam Hussein) and people were fleeing,” said psychiatrist Karl Benzio, executive director of Doylestown Township's Lighthouse Network. “In this country there is a dire need for mental health assistance. There is addiction, physical and sexual abuse, child abuse, depression, suicide...War and terrorism throughout life brings mental health woes.”
So the Lighthouse Network, a nonprofit Christian ministry, is sending Benzio and two colleagues in the behavioral health field to Iraq to lead a series of conferences to help the country's healthcare officials provide services for those people.
On Sunday, Benzio, psychologist Jeff Black and therapist/social worker Leslie Vernick will fly to the Kurdish city of Ebil in northern Iraq, where they will spend five days at the invitation of the Kurdish Regional Government's minister of health.
In a country that is 95 percent Muslim, the three Christians — Black is assistant pastor at Philadelphia Biblical University and Vernick is an Allentown-based Christian author and therapist — will speak to audiences of Iraqi psychiatrists, nurses, social workers, medical students, counselors and doctors. They will cover how to listen to and communicate with families whose children are ill and couples with marital and parenting issues.
“I'll lecture on topics related to psychotherapy and diagnosis,” Black said. “They'll probably want us to talk about trauma-related things, marriage and family things. We're going over there with a lot of knowledge, but I'm not sure we'll know how to apply it until we get there.”
The trip was funded by a group of Christian businessmen and arranged with help from T.H. Properties' co-founder Todd Hendricks, who is a member of the board of trustees at Philadelphia Biblical University.
“My first thought was "I'd better ask my wife,' ” said Black. “Really, I think it's a phenomenal opportunity. For me, it's a first.”
Benzio stressed that while the Sunni-Shiite violence has been prominent in the southern section of Iraq, Kurdistan has been relatively peaceful. Still, they will have their work cut out for them as Iraqis struggle with hopelessness and despair, which can lead to anger, abuse and addiction.
“Take Katrina and imagine 24 years of it,” said Benzio, who recently co-chaired the Bucks Mont Katrina Relief Project's mental health subcommittee. “That's how it is there, the sense of battle fatigue.”
The group will also speak at a few of the local Christian churches, which have seen a small resurgence since the fall of Saddam Hussein.
For now, the group is reviewing some cultural materials covering how to interact with the Iraqi people and what to wear. Benzio also learned to leave a little bit of food on the plate at the end of each meal. If they do not, their hosts will keep providing more. That was good advice for Benzio, who grew up doing the opposite.
“I come from an Italian family, where you're supposed to clean your plate,” he said.
John Anastasi can be reached at (215) 345-3079 or janastasi@phillyBurbs.com.
January 11, 2007 6:11 AM
Info on the web about Victor Tarassov
1. Lighthouse Network - LN Announcements
www.lighthousenetwork.org/new/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&i
Published on: 11/1/2006 Last Visited: 11/8/2006
We'd like to officially welcome Victor Tarassov, MS as our new LighthouseED Director (effective November 1).
As a professional counselor for 18 years, Victor brings a wealth of education, training, and experience to LN. He is a graduate from Philadelphia Biblical University with a Masters Degree in Christian Counseling, and also served as a member of the faculty there teaching group dynamics and marital therapy. Victor has served as an East Coast regional program director for New Life Clinics and was responsible for initiating and operating an inpatient/day program.
He is a facilitator and trainer for Right Things Right, a group leader at Every Mans Battle workshops, and is consulted for both individual and corporate coaching.
Victor has given seminars and workshops throughout the United States on Biblical Reflection, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its Treatment, Single Parenting and family issues at Fresh Start seminars, and Spiritual Development. He has also been consulted by the State of New Jersey Governor's Office for assistance in determining the proper treatment of inmates and other ethical issues regarding their incarceration and release. Several articles he has written have been published in national magazines.
We're delighted to welcome Victor to our staff!
For more information about Victor, please visit his web site at www.victortarassov.com.
2. Life@Work Journal Online
www.lifeatwork.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=dsparticledetail&intid=545
Published on: 3/6/2002 Last Visited: 3/6/2002
The story is so common as to risk being a clich‚, but it was impetus enough to send her into the office of Victor Tarassov, a therapist and director of the New Life Clinic in Doylestown, Pa. (www.newlife.com).
It wasn't an especially warm meeting.
"During our first encounter, I thought she wouldn't come back," Tarassov says. "But I won't give up until they do. ... I've learned that the person who is willing to make a hard decision [to change] and live with it is the one who will do damage repair."
Liza complained of feeling overwhelmed yet angry for no specific reason. Tarassov asked her up front the steps she already had taken to effect change and the ones she was willing to take in the future. He asked her to define change and then count the cost.
"I always tell clients, `If life depends on you being seen as a success or as the No. 1 guy - whatever status you're trying to maintain - then you can't change your life,' " he says. "What you have to change is where you find life."
As he does with his other clients, Tarassov gave the responsibility to Liza to think through what she wanted to be at 90 and what she wanted to have accomplished or developed by then. With those goals in mind, he asked her what steps she was taking now to make that happen. This is what he calls creating a life map or drafting a plan for change. Then he also asked about her motivations for success.
...
"If someone feels the need to prove themselves to a boss, father figure or whoever, what they do is get rid of everyone else in their life to please this imaginary figure," Tarassov says. "They have to put up boundaries and not violate them - things like no more late hours, only one business trip a month, etc. But they also have to recognize that once they say no to this, there are 100 people who will say yes. It's a lifestyle change to move from burnout to balance, and you have to count the cost. You're going to have to say no to things, and that will cost you real money."
Liza made progress, Tarassov says, when she finally put limits on the length of her business day and a cap on her materialistic expectations. She restructured her company, sold off all but one outlet and ended her business day at 3 p.m. She now says no to travel more than she says yes, and she is home four nights a week to spend time with her husband and 17-year-old son. "I think the big breakthrough for her was when it didn't matter what she drove or how many cell phones she had," Tarassov says.
Her husband and her church were both very supportive of the changes she made, but none more so,
perhaps, than her son, Tarassov says. It didn't happen overnight, however: Liza's restructuring took place over a nine-month period of counseling. For ongoing maintenance, she plugged into a group of women from her church for regular Bible study and accountability. "They had been telling her she needed to make this change for a while," Tarassov says, "so she had to go back to them and say they were right - which was humbling."
As for her relationship with her father, Liza still is working on it, but she no longer is controlled by her perception of his opinion. "She still longs for a relationship with her father, but if she doesn't get it, that's OK," Tarassov says. "She's still in contact with him and is working on it."
FROM COACHING TO COMMUNITY
Liza's overloaded life is rather typical these days, but so is the solution she pursued - scaling back her expectations and lifestyle, rather than creating major, dramatic changes.
...
Although Hedges trained Tarassov in this coaching approach, Tarassov sees that other groups also are catching on to the concept of mentoring or coaching to restore balance - especially in the lives of men.
...
"I'm seeing men's groups now realizing that the `corporate [overload] thing' stinks - it could be a spurring from the Promise Keepers movement or a stirring that, hey, this isn't what life is all about," Tarassov says. "But someone has to model this. It's good for older men to show younger men how to do this." Otherwise, he observes wryly, the only models are the workaholics at the office.
Tarassov believes that to make long-lasting changes, most people need to draw a support from others. The ideal support mechanism is a 2,000-year-old concept: a thriving local church. "The way you keep growing is by being in a good, healthy community," Tarassov says. "That's a non-negotiable. You can't pull this off by yourself. The whole growth process - or sanctification - can't be done alone."
3. Illinois Baptist State Association: 5/3/00 Family Page
www.ibsa.org/ibweb/503fam.html
Published on: 4/7/2000 Last Visited: 9/16/2000
Even then, thoughts of their loss will resurface throughout their lives as unassuming events trigger different phases of the grief cycle, according to Victor Tarassov, a therapist for New Life Clinics in New Jersey, writing in ParentLife's May issue.
...
If you have a friend who has lost a child, be patient and avoid giving overly simplified spiritual answers, Tarassov said. Let them know that their pain is real and it be OK to feel these emotions. do not try to produce a reason for the hurt or a shortcut for the pain. Help Christian parents know the hope they already know deep in their hearts-that life in Jesus Christ is eternal.
www.lighthousenetwork.org/new/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&i
Published on: 11/1/2006 Last Visited: 11/8/2006
We'd like to officially welcome Victor Tarassov, MS as our new LighthouseED Director (effective November 1).
As a professional counselor for 18 years, Victor brings a wealth of education, training, and experience to LN. He is a graduate from Philadelphia Biblical University with a Masters Degree in Christian Counseling, and also served as a member of the faculty there teaching group dynamics and marital therapy. Victor has served as an East Coast regional program director for New Life Clinics and was responsible for initiating and operating an inpatient/day program.
He is a facilitator and trainer for Right Things Right, a group leader at Every Mans Battle workshops, and is consulted for both individual and corporate coaching.
Victor has given seminars and workshops throughout the United States on Biblical Reflection, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its Treatment, Single Parenting and family issues at Fresh Start seminars, and Spiritual Development. He has also been consulted by the State of New Jersey Governor's Office for assistance in determining the proper treatment of inmates and other ethical issues regarding their incarceration and release. Several articles he has written have been published in national magazines.
We're delighted to welcome Victor to our staff!
For more information about Victor, please visit his web site at www.victortarassov.com.
2. Life@Work Journal Online
www.lifeatwork.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=dsparticledetail&intid=545
Published on: 3/6/2002 Last Visited: 3/6/2002
The story is so common as to risk being a clich‚, but it was impetus enough to send her into the office of Victor Tarassov, a therapist and director of the New Life Clinic in Doylestown, Pa. (www.newlife.com).
It wasn't an especially warm meeting.
"During our first encounter, I thought she wouldn't come back," Tarassov says. "But I won't give up until they do. ... I've learned that the person who is willing to make a hard decision [to change] and live with it is the one who will do damage repair."
Liza complained of feeling overwhelmed yet angry for no specific reason. Tarassov asked her up front the steps she already had taken to effect change and the ones she was willing to take in the future. He asked her to define change and then count the cost.
"I always tell clients, `If life depends on you being seen as a success or as the No. 1 guy - whatever status you're trying to maintain - then you can't change your life,' " he says. "What you have to change is where you find life."
As he does with his other clients, Tarassov gave the responsibility to Liza to think through what she wanted to be at 90 and what she wanted to have accomplished or developed by then. With those goals in mind, he asked her what steps she was taking now to make that happen. This is what he calls creating a life map or drafting a plan for change. Then he also asked about her motivations for success.
...
"If someone feels the need to prove themselves to a boss, father figure or whoever, what they do is get rid of everyone else in their life to please this imaginary figure," Tarassov says. "They have to put up boundaries and not violate them - things like no more late hours, only one business trip a month, etc. But they also have to recognize that once they say no to this, there are 100 people who will say yes. It's a lifestyle change to move from burnout to balance, and you have to count the cost. You're going to have to say no to things, and that will cost you real money."
Liza made progress, Tarassov says, when she finally put limits on the length of her business day and a cap on her materialistic expectations. She restructured her company, sold off all but one outlet and ended her business day at 3 p.m. She now says no to travel more than she says yes, and she is home four nights a week to spend time with her husband and 17-year-old son. "I think the big breakthrough for her was when it didn't matter what she drove or how many cell phones she had," Tarassov says.
Her husband and her church were both very supportive of the changes she made, but none more so,
perhaps, than her son, Tarassov says. It didn't happen overnight, however: Liza's restructuring took place over a nine-month period of counseling. For ongoing maintenance, she plugged into a group of women from her church for regular Bible study and accountability. "They had been telling her she needed to make this change for a while," Tarassov says, "so she had to go back to them and say they were right - which was humbling."
As for her relationship with her father, Liza still is working on it, but she no longer is controlled by her perception of his opinion. "She still longs for a relationship with her father, but if she doesn't get it, that's OK," Tarassov says. "She's still in contact with him and is working on it."
FROM COACHING TO COMMUNITY
Liza's overloaded life is rather typical these days, but so is the solution she pursued - scaling back her expectations and lifestyle, rather than creating major, dramatic changes.
...
Although Hedges trained Tarassov in this coaching approach, Tarassov sees that other groups also are catching on to the concept of mentoring or coaching to restore balance - especially in the lives of men.
...
"I'm seeing men's groups now realizing that the `corporate [overload] thing' stinks - it could be a spurring from the Promise Keepers movement or a stirring that, hey, this isn't what life is all about," Tarassov says. "But someone has to model this. It's good for older men to show younger men how to do this." Otherwise, he observes wryly, the only models are the workaholics at the office.
Tarassov believes that to make long-lasting changes, most people need to draw a support from others. The ideal support mechanism is a 2,000-year-old concept: a thriving local church. "The way you keep growing is by being in a good, healthy community," Tarassov says. "That's a non-negotiable. You can't pull this off by yourself. The whole growth process - or sanctification - can't be done alone."
3. Illinois Baptist State Association: 5/3/00 Family Page
www.ibsa.org/ibweb/503fam.html
Published on: 4/7/2000 Last Visited: 9/16/2000
Even then, thoughts of their loss will resurface throughout their lives as unassuming events trigger different phases of the grief cycle, according to Victor Tarassov, a therapist for New Life Clinics in New Jersey, writing in ParentLife's May issue.
...
If you have a friend who has lost a child, be patient and avoid giving overly simplified spiritual answers, Tarassov said. Let them know that their pain is real and it be OK to feel these emotions. do not try to produce a reason for the hurt or a shortcut for the pain. Help Christian parents know the hope they already know deep in their hearts-that life in Jesus Christ is eternal.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Highlights at Lighthouse
Highlights:
We now have a 24/7 free LINKLine 877 562-2565 and 11 care managers who provide lifesaving case management linking those struggling with addiction, detox, and acute psychiatric problems find sound Christian care when situations permit or the best secular treatment available. We are getting calls from all over the US and Focus on the Family calls us (or gives out our number 5-8 x / week). This is an incredibly unique service and we are also in the process of putting together a comprehensive outpatient database as well.
We have been invited to go to Iraq by their Minister of Health and are taking a team of four to educate the church and the mental health providers in northern Iraq be more skilled in helping with all the suffering that is going on there.
Unique involvement in Katrina Relief efforts that will be chronicled in the Christmas PARADE Magazine in the Sunday papers!
Our great writer, Joan Esherick, produces a great newsletter twice every month.
I could go on and on!
Great things are planned in 07 and we would like your help.
There are many ways to help that are not financial giving, and I ask that you to take part in those as they will also benefit you and those around you.
Obviously, financial support is important as well, if you feel led, to help us help those who struggle to help themselves or who society often neglects, forgets, or is unsure how to help. We extend tangibly extend God’s love and grace and in very unique and specific ways and serve as Lighthouses of hope and refuge for those experiencing stormy times. The need is great and we do make a difference. You will also benefit in knowing you are having an acute lifesaving, eternal impact on people’s lives.
Thanks for your consideration,
Karl Benzio, MD
Director, Lighthouse Network
We now have a 24/7 free LINKLine 877 562-2565 and 11 care managers who provide lifesaving case management linking those struggling with addiction, detox, and acute psychiatric problems find sound Christian care when situations permit or the best secular treatment available. We are getting calls from all over the US and Focus on the Family calls us (or gives out our number 5-8 x / week). This is an incredibly unique service and we are also in the process of putting together a comprehensive outpatient database as well.
We have been invited to go to Iraq by their Minister of Health and are taking a team of four to educate the church and the mental health providers in northern Iraq be more skilled in helping with all the suffering that is going on there.
Unique involvement in Katrina Relief efforts that will be chronicled in the Christmas PARADE Magazine in the Sunday papers!
Our great writer, Joan Esherick, produces a great newsletter twice every month.
I could go on and on!
Great things are planned in 07 and we would like your help.
There are many ways to help that are not financial giving, and I ask that you to take part in those as they will also benefit you and those around you.
Obviously, financial support is important as well, if you feel led, to help us help those who struggle to help themselves or who society often neglects, forgets, or is unsure how to help. We extend tangibly extend God’s love and grace and in very unique and specific ways and serve as Lighthouses of hope and refuge for those experiencing stormy times. The need is great and we do make a difference. You will also benefit in knowing you are having an acute lifesaving, eternal impact on people’s lives.
Thanks for your consideration,
Karl Benzio, MD
Director, Lighthouse Network
Monday, December 4, 2006
Life Works Coaching is now online and has a blog
Well its been a few years since Victor Tarassov and Mike Huber have worked together. In a new venture with Lighthouse Ed Victor Tarassov and Mike Huber will again be doing workshops and coaching. We have rejisted a domain name as www.lifeworkscoaching.org and will begin creating the sight. Welcome and we look to helping the body of Christ find each persons created intent.
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